Compliments never made her smile ,
They were always rejected by her and were never kept in the file .
She met a number of people everyday ,
With a number of words they said
But each one of them had one common question ,
Which was left and ignored on the way.
She never answered it ,
Even when she felt the time was fit .
Because she knew it was difficult to explain ,
As her eyes might show the pain .
But this time when the question arised
She knew she can not keep quiet
As there were a number of people around
And they really wanted to hear the sound.
And a number of things entered her mind
Searching for the answer she could never find .
“I fell a number of times ,
I tried standing even more ,
But even after all the efforts ,
I wasn’t close to the shore .
I saved myself from the ocean ,
But that single drop of water broke me again ,
I could handle the sufferings and the emotions ,
But that single pain of losing myself killed me again.
I tried getting myself back ,
But it was real hard ,
Now I have nothing left for myself.
Because my efforts got wasted on healing others hearts.
Now I say words to myself ,
Which I never want to hear ,
Everyday I hurt myself ,
Knowing that it pains my ear .
I don’t stop ,
I say shit about myself ,
And think I am strong .
Knowing that I am completely wrong .
It doesn’t make me happy ,
I suffer a lot ,
In my own jail ,I feel caught .
Whenever they say something good about me ,
I feel they are lying to me .
My brain and my heart doesnt even let me feel that it could be true ,
Not even for a second or a few.
I wasn’t always like this ,
But I kept blaming myself for everything ,
I started feeling guilty for everything .
And then one day I gave up on myself .
Now I don’t remember the last time I thought about myself ,
I don’t even know if I need some help .
I get blank when I turn back ,
As everything just seems black .
But what kills me more is when people tell me to do something about it .
Because they are the major cause of this .
They give me hopes and lectures ,
But when given an option they choose the colours over the textures.
They just go on appearence ,
And don’t even see the efforts.
They make me feel worse about myself,
But all I do is smile ,
And ignore what’s going inside .
As everything is already Destroyed
I am breathing fine
But my heart has lost its shine ”
These were the words which entered her mind that time ,
But she knew she could not make people understand ,
How far was the land.
She took a long pause ,
Every second was reminding her of the things she has had ,
The thing which destroyed her life or the acid attack .
She knew that her mind needs help
When they asked her again “Do you love yourself? ”
“She has so many scars ,
they make her feel bad ,
She can’t see with one eye ,
And that is also kinda sad ,
She is unable to laugh ,
Which makes her uncomfortable ,
She falls a million times ,
She is never stable.
But she is okay
Because her scars are the proof of her strength ,
With one eye she sees how much she has travelled or the length.
She cannot laugh but her smile is enough to make people fall in love with her
She may fall a number of times but her wounds show how strong is the feather.
She may not have a beautiful face ,
But she has a very strong heart ,
She may not be as soft as she was ,
Because life has pushed her hard .
But she knows how to stand herself
All she need is her own hand ,
So that she is able to forget all the pain
And start loving herself all over again .”
Said her lover ,
Saving her from the dark weather
And then there saw a smile on her face .
Which proved that he won the race .
Love can heal people ,
And also bring light in the dark days.